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Limit of heat.

mysterious lines

… I’m a little late this time, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I’m pretty much all set for this coming semester in all ways except emotional. I’m always like this, though.

This summer is quickly coming to an end. It really has felt just like one super long week, with each day being largely the same as the ones before and after. It’s difficult to wrap my head around it, but not any different than how I usually struggle with the passage of time. What do you mean my siblings are all big now, and getting more articulate by the day? Where do I see myself in comparison to everyone else? How come I haven’t undergone any discernible change? You could say that it’s because I am me that I cannot find any sort of progress, but somehow I get the sense there’s nothing worth noting. I’ve always been observant, yet I’m also slow to take action. I tend to think (or overthink, according to others) things over and over until I come to a satisfying conclusion, then make a choice as to how I want to remedy the situation. It’s also hard to change a part of me that’s basically the basis of my personality. I’m very annoying and tend to go on tangents and lecture about things I find interesting while also admitting I’m full of nonsense. But if I hide that over-dramatic and obnoxious side, all you get is a super-washed out and boring version of me. It’s also the me most people know.

That doesn’t really matter either. I don’t think anyone really cares whether they’re seeing the real version of someone or not. It has nothing to do with how close you are, either. It’s more about how well you mesh, which is also why making friends gets harder and harder the older you get. When you’re kids, your lives would have been relatively short, with few defining events, and thus it’s more likely you’ll be able to get along with others. The older you are, the more experiences you have, and the harder it is to find things in common since there’s a much wider range. Technically, there’s no range since it’s infinite. Anyway, I guess the point is that I’ve found that some people I used to be friends with are now Completely Different from the person I’ve become, or at least are heading in vastly different directions.

Although I’m really just wandering aimlessly in one general direction, but that’s enough.

Anyway. I’ve been losing what little muscle I had before being stuck at home all the time, which is a bit of a problem. I really should do something about that.

One comment

  1. David Yin

    I always encourage you to write something regularly. I am happy to see you do it with your own schedule.

    About the last point, you mentioned in this post. I would suggest we have a walk tomorrow.

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