大寒

Major cold.

a sunrise from some time ago

Also, it’s the 腊八 festival, which I don’t really know about either. Pretty much all festivals and more important terms are excuses to have big dinners and eat well, which is nice when you’re with family. …which I’m not, but that’s okay. This is the last solar term of 2020! How time passes! Not sure how I got here, to this point, but to be honest, I’m feeling pretty much the same as I did when I wrote the first one. Sleep-deprived, tired in all ways, not really paying too much attention to class, and surrounded by cold snow.

So school has started, and I’ve been having some amount of difficulty settling into a routine. I managed to catch a cold (or maybe just break something in my body) earlier this week, so I’m suffering the consequences now. In the realm of introspection, I’ve also been trying to work through some things, while also trying to balance out other things, and there’s just a lot of things. I feel a bit like a small planet that’s spinning really quickly but orbiting a larger star system in a much slower manner. I haven’t been able to sleep well recently either, and when I do, I have random weirdly vivid nonsensical dreams full of pictures that I note (in the dream) to remember for later so I can recreate them; or full of people that I see on my screen (some I know personally, some I know conceptually) everyday.

I don’t think I have anything else of substance to talk about. Since last post, I’ve watched 2 web-dramas in the 鬼吹灯 series. It was fun to watch, partially because I love history and action, and also partially because I like the main actor. I’m a simple man: if it looks interesting enough, and has enough actors I like, I’ll probably take a look. It was nice also because they were pretty short and I could finish them quickly if I really wanted to. Whenever my Chinese literacy goes up, I might read the original novels… but that’s probably going to take forever since I’m not really learning properly. Anyway, we’ll see. I still think it’s funny that about 2 years ago, I watched the first installment of the web-series for a different man… and now… I guess that really shows how simple I can be.

Also, since it’s the second week of classes, we’re getting right back into Things, and I’m reminded of how much I hate academia. Maybe someday I’ll write something about it (which seems kind of ironic), but for now, I’ll just look at my dark circles in the mirror and tell myself that it’s worth it. At the very least, I know now for certain I hate school.

That’s kind of a sad note to end the post, so I’ll try to think of something else… well, I’ve got nothing. I took 5 minutes away from the post to think but all I have is this playlist I made a while ago. Listen to it if you want. I’m off to nap.