vernal equinox

春分.

The sky was a lot bluer but I edited it for extra moodiness.

The picture for today is from a demolished site I passed by on a quick walk. I went to buy snacks because there was a weekend sale, and decided to take a walk since the temperature was so mild. On the way home the sun was in my face so I did feel a bit warm. It was extremely windy (as usual), but there were… a lot of people outside. I really shouldn’t complain because I too was outside, but then again… I wasn’t loitering with a large group of people on the corners of the streets smoking. Mildly annoying.

Anyway, hopefully the warmer weather stays! I forgot about Daylight Savings last week so it kind of threw me off. It is nice to have the sunset a bit later. I don’t know what my favourite time of day is anymore (tangentially related). I used to say afternoon, back in high school, and then later on sunset, or evening; then I said midnight, and more recently I’ve been saying dawn. I don’t know, maybe I don’t have a favourite (copout answer!). Maybe any moment where I’m alive and acutely aware of Time is a good time of day. As long as I’m enjoying it, I suppose.

And… it is nearing the end of the semester… the end of 3rd year. I’ve never really thought I’d get this far in school (or life). It’s definitely interesting to see how much I’ve changed—mostly in ways I doubt others can see, but are pretty substantial regardless. That’s a topic that I find kind of boring now, actually. I’ve discussed at length the ways I’ve viewed (personal) progress on this blog throughout the years, and at this point I find that there’s very little to say. Maybe I’ll reflect more in 10 years.

Recently I’ve been trying to change up the way I write. I used to be overly finicky when it came to the flow of sentences and phrases, and I wanted everything to sound smooth when read out loud (or read in the mind’s voice). I’ve been reading more prose (albeit in Chinese) and I’ve been thinking about poetry. Not necessarily a poem, but harbouring a poetic sensibility… or something like that.

Some writing from a few months ago. It’s all collected on a doc I’ve been adding to since March 2015.

Anyway, I’ve been playing Animal Crossing again. It really does just bring me so much joy. I also bought more fun things for myself (a mic, a book, some pants…, a wine bottle opener). The end of the school year is always super tiring and I’m trying not be burnt out but alas. I guess this is it for now. No real recommendations other than Read More, Write More, and buy self-indulgent things, and try to find what you enjoy doing. For what felt like the longest time, I felt discouraged from doing things like drawing or writing because I knew I wasn’t as good as my peers or People-on-the-internet, and also because I had to do that for school so every number mark I received felt like further proof I was untalented. I’ve been trying to find what I enjoyed from those hobbies (or skills) and do them, without any shame. Even if it’s a bad Thing that I’ve created, at least I’ve created something. I am the god of my own world, I can do whatever I want, nothing has meaning unless you want it to, etc etc.

My brother (on the left) and I, on his island.