The school year is almost over! This means it’s time to do some more reflecting, hopefully in a more organized nature. Firstly, we’ll look at my NY resolutions, which are more like school goals to be fair, since most of my life is currently school.
…and as we can see, clearly I have not been doing very well in this regard. I don’t actually have any motivation (aside from being really darn scared of doing badly) (which is motivation in a way, I suppose, but it doesn’t really kick in until it’s much too late), and I have no ambitions yet either. I guess it is too early to know, but I should at least have something I’m interested in, right? Unfortunately I don’t.
Work effort has been fairly consistent this year, which I find pretty amazing all things considered. I mean, it’s me, and I am like… actively trying to be a nonconformist or something. Yeah, something like that. I was a weird 13-year-old. Embarrassing. As for writing and developing styles… not really either. I know I keep saying I’ll write, but I don’t. I could upload some of my school work but it’s kind of a) embarrassing, b) those topics aren’t really what I’m passionate about, and c) I don’t really want to put my work online. So it’s a dead end in this regard. But there has been improvement in some of these areas in comparison to previous years!
Also, I am obviously avoiding one of these points because I have pretty much done the exact opposite of it (#3) and it’s kind of sad. I guess. Although I was in a pretty somber mood for most of the winter, which may have seeped into the posts then. Which would explain the hopeful but resigned tone. I was probably trying to convince myself that by not doing anything outrageous, by exhibiting self-control I would be able to have a peaceful year. Which is, of course, a true statement, but there is also a reason why I put it there in the first place, which is because I kind of expected myself to do something stupid enough in the future to warrant that kind of resolution. AKA I’m shaming myself.
My unpredictability is predictable.
But these are just comments on resolutions, and I rarely take it too seriously. As for other goals, however, I do not have specific ones (which is counterproductive). I wrote at the beginning of Term 3 this year that I wanted a significant achievement, but that’s pretty vague. But I guess… I’ve done alright for someone without an end goal or specific result in mind. It’s nice.
Since it’s almost provincial time, and almost summer, I guess I’ll end here with a few notes:
(1) Don’t let a repeat of last year happen.
(2) Actually exhibit some self-control.
(3) Sleep more, preferably upwards of 5h per night.